Giving Thanks Day

I am truly thank full for so, so much this year. My daughter is bright and healthy, my marriage is secure and supportive. I have modern conveniences-my home and vehicle. My friends and extended family are healthy and well. And of course having the amazing opportunity to welcome another child into our lives is one of the most amazing things of all! Thank you!!!

Another thing to be thankful for? No one that I know directly is serving in our current war. My heart goes out to all the families that are missing a family member or friend this thanksgiving.

I listened to this really powerful speech from Randi Rhodes at the The 50th Anniversary party of PEACE ACTION on November 11th, 2007. There was that part of me that just felt angry- angry at all the injustices of the world, all the inequality. The unfairness of it all. But I felt empowered listening to her. I felt part of a larger community of people that truly care about one another. I didn't feel like it was a waste of time to spend signing petitions and sending e mails to our political representatives. She just seems to speak truth- straight forward.

"All is love

All is choice

Everyone and every voice

All of life that you see

All are possibilities

As above so below

To wed the sense into the soul

This is truth I believe

I believe

I believe"

-Melissa Etheridge

I liked this information I read concerning Thanksgiving. I have never really been a fan of the holiday because I have always thought about it in a very literal way. I realize now that the holiday truly celebrates the bounty that we all have, the changing of the seasons, and the celebration that is family.

1.

Step One
Explain the ancient origins of the harvest festival to your children. In ancient times, people of many cultures (including the ancient Greeks, Romans, Hebrews, Egyptians and Chinese) gave thanks to their god or gods for a successful harvest, and some of the traditions associated with modern Thanksgiving celebrations have their roots in these ancient festivals.
2.
Step Two
Discuss the roots of the American Thanksgiving celebration. In 1621, near the end of the Plymouth colony's first year in America, the settlers gave thanks for a plentiful first harvest. The pilgrims and the natives celebrated together (they had arranged a peace treaty), and everyone feasted on geese, ducks, deer, corn, oysters, fish and berries.
3.
Step Three
Discuss Native American issues surrounding Thanksgiving. Despite the harmonious relations that may have existed between natives and pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving feast, many subsequent American Thanksgivings involved settlers giving thanks for victories over the natives. Ask your children how they feel about this, and discuss the recent efforts that have been made by the American government and people to apologize for past discrimination and violence.
4.
Step Four
Explain when ' and why ' Thanksgiving became an official holiday. In 1863, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed that Thanksgiving should be a national observance. To some degree, this was a way to brighten the spirits of the American people, who were dealing with a great deal of difficulty and deprivation.
5.
Step Five
Explain that one aspect of Thanksgiving involves gratitude for having enough food to eat, and encourage your children to help you buy groceries for the food bank, or make a donation to a local soup kitchen.
6.
Step Six
Talk turkey. The wild turkey is native to the eastern states and northern Mexico, and while it probably wasn't served at the first Thanksgiving feast, it has become a symbol of the holiday.
7.
Step Seven
Offer your children some relevant books. Many books that discuss the Thanksgiving tradition from a variety of different perspectives are available for readers of all ages.
Tips & Warnings
Let your children help with preparations for your Thanksgiving meal, and encourage them to make appropriate decorations. This gives you an opportunity to discuss the symbolism of many objects associated with Thanksgiving, and to share family traditions with them as you prepare the feast together.
While you may want your children to understand the true history of the Thanksgiving holiday, try to emphasize the joy of the harvest feast, too. Whatever Thanksgiving may have been in the past, it is now a time for people to celebrate with family and friends, to be grateful for what they have, and to help those who may have less than they do.

And lastly a few links about Angelina Jolie as she is in the news again. I don't even want to imagine how hectic her holiday celebrations must be. Even her meal plans are being speculated about. I wouldn't want all that media attention for all the nannies or maids in the world.

Happy Tryptophan Turkey Day :)

Read this for a different view of Thanksgiving, thoughts on why this shouldn't be a celebrated holiday.

Buzzzzz

Oh my goodness...the adoption world is buzzing today. Several people from our agency have received referrals of children! An infant and several sibling sets. Many people are travelling or waiting to travel, an incredibly anxious time I imagine.

To make things even more complicated, general perception of adoption is starting to sour. In Ethiopia. Where we are preparing to go.

I would be lying if I said this doesn't concern me. I understand the frustration and anger the people of Addis Ababa may feel. To see so many white faces taking children out of their country. Its confusing, and complicated and there are no easy answers.

Lets think of a scenario very simplistically.

A husband and wife have five children. They have a simple home and a small area of land. They struggle but are surviving and living as a family. Then the father gets sick and is in need of medicine. They spend the little money they have on medicine. The wife gives birth to a sixth child. The father is dying and they must make a decision on how best to support their family. They decide to give the youngest two children up for adoption. They legally proceed and relinquish the children. They agree to meet the adopting matched family. That family feels a great desire to continue to support their adopted children's birth family. They inquire on how to send the remaining children in the family to school. The agency sets up a process to assist the birth family with basic needs through the small donations of the adopting family. When they can no longer afford medication the agency is able to help them get more. The family slowly starts to regain some abilities of their former selves. People in the village start to see the children walking to school and the father working again. They wonder, did they sell their own children to provide for their other children? Members of their community become suspicious, even jealous.

Now I know this is very simple, but I am just trying to prove a point. All parts of the equation make sense! The family that wants to adopt a child, the villagers that become suspicious. The family that didn't want to see their children die, that wanted to give them a chance to stay alive.

So our agency has been making some changes.

"Effective... we are no longer coordinating new birth relative sponsorships... We continue to coordinate general sponsorships and existing birth relative sponsorships...
The decision to discontinue coordinating new birth relative sponsorship requests came after careful review by our senior agency staff, Ethiopia program manager, and Dr. ....... We recognize that our adoptive parents care deeply about the birth families of their adoptive children. However, we know from working in other countries that even the appearance of a birth family benefiting from the relinquishment of their birth child can be enough to cause serious harm, or in some cases closure, to an adoption program. The decision to discontinue any new birth sibling sponsorships was made to ensure that we avoid any appearance of impropriety in the conduct of our adoption work.
We remain deeply committed to providing humanitarian aid assistance to the children left behind. In addition to the projects currently identified (renovations to hospitals and schools, etc), we will be selecting smaller, community-based projects in order to keep our humanitarian aid efforts as close as possible to the families of the children we are placing. We also strongly encourage families who are interested in sponsoring a child in desperate need to participate in our ongoing Child Sponsorship Program in Ethiopia. This program has several hundred children currently waiting to be matched with a sponsor, and families, in the past, have found this a rewarding way to keep in touch with their child's country of birth."

Many people are very sad about the general perception of adoption recently in Addis Ababa. I believe recent events in Chad and seeing so many white faces carry away black children is effecting opinions. Homes have opened up in the city as bed and breakfasts specifically targeting the families that are arriving to adopt. Families from Europe, Canada, Australia and America are seen in hotels trying to parent children who do not yet know them. But, the public sees this, and has their own opinion of what may be going on. And the truth is, public opinion is very important to the continuation of the adoption programs.

But then I read about the severe draught in Niger and the children that are dying everyday from no food or clean water. I read this article from 2002 about famine in Ethiopia, and I have to wonder...which is worse? You mean to tell me that a mother in Darfur right now isn't praying for some way to have her children survive- even if that meant they grew up in another country, with another family?

There isn't an easy answer, or even a right or wrong answer. We all know it is not as easy as just pouring money into an economy. You need structure, sustainability. I am wondering what the program will be like in another six months. How will the people of Ethiopia feel then? Will they throw rocks or stare angrily? Will they smile or nod? Do they know that our hearts are in "the right place"?

I remember a conversation with a friend who had come to this country from Ecuador about eight years ago. I was explaining my frustrations with adoption and the different avenues we were trying to take. He was very surprised and curious about this. He then told me about certain poverty stricken areas near his home. "They have no birth control, no hospital, no food pantry's or safety nets like they have here in the US. Mothers will beg you to take their children and tell you they will otherwise starve to death. It is a really awful situation."

I do not think removing a child from there place of birth is or should be the first choice. It should be of last resort, when there are no other options. But what the word "options" means to you and me, may be completely different in radically different environments.

I still hope we are able to volunteer our time while we are there at the orphanage. I feel I need to learn as much as I possibly can of my sons place of birth, his roots.

"If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a kind word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen."

-Loretta Girzaitis

The next day-

I thought about this alot last night when I was going to sleep. One thing that strikes me is that there are so many people in our world who want to adopt children. Many more than I ever thought before starting our foster care classes and this international adoption process. I cant help but wonder how many more would consider adoption if there weren't such huge financial barriers. Imagine if our foster care system was set up to truly support the needs of the child? As well as the many child welfare systems set up in the many different countries around the world. There is no reason, in our day and age, for healthy children to be growing up in orphanages. The needs of these children can be met. But it is tricky- complicated, messy.

Right now the government of Ethiopia is not able to sufficiently care for the needs of its citizens. There is a shortage of food, clean water, adequate medical care and work. Are we, as adopting families, filling a need? Or creating a way out for the government to not improve the conditions expediently.

Blog name change

Change is good. I decided to change the name of my blog. I have found that the blog has become more of a journal of this adoption journey and its many twists and turns. The truth is there are a zillion blogs out there, many of them on the topic of adoption. Most people stumble upon the site through a search engine or another link. For those that are here to help sponsor our adoption all the information is still here and thank you, thank you, thank you. But thinking about it and discussing it with my husband what we are doing is really outrageous. To have started this having no money saved, and to have gotten this far is unbelievable. We had always thought we would adopt through the foster care system which has no additional cost (usually). So when we had the crazy idea to adopt internationally we had to completely change gears.

I thought of naming the blog middle class adoption, but Fred didn't think we were really sitting comfortably in the wage column of middle class, and lower middle class was quite long. This is actually tough to figure out. Different articles state different wage brackets when considering poverty levels, middle class levels and upper class levels. We fall into the highest percentage of the US wage bracket:
$50,000 - $74,999 per year 19.46% of total households. See the total graph here.

Fred felt that blue collar depicted our family more accurately. I wanted to go on line and see what wikipedia gives for an explanation of the term.

"Blue-collar is a term for what some refer to as the working class. A blue-collar worker is differentiated from white-collar and service employees, in that the blue-collar worker earns an hourly wage (as opposed to the white-collar salary) and performs manual labor (as opposed to the service-industry worker). Blue collar work may be skilled or unskilled, and may involve factory work, building and construction trades, law enforcement, mechanical work, maintenance or technical installations. The white-collar worker, by contrast, performs non-manual labor often in an office; and the service industry worker performs non-manual labor involving customer interaction, entertainment, retail sales, and the like.
This term occasionally carries a stereotype based on historical perspective, but is rarely perceived to be a negative one. The blue-collar worker in the United States is an embodiment of the American mythos of a work ethic and the dignity of labor. Rightly or wrongly, some blue-collar jobs, such as those of janitors and unskilled laborers, may carry negative stereotypes from perceptions that they represent minimal ability. Most, however, involve levels of specialized skill that carry no stigma, and are on the contrary a source of pride.
The term derives from the dress codes of workplaces. Industrial and manual workers wear durable clothing that can be soiled or scrapped at work. A popular element of such “work clothes” has been, and still is, a light or navy blue shirt. Blue is also a popular color for coveralls.
The popularity of the color blue among persons who do manual labor is contrasted to the ubiquitous white dress shirt that, historically, has been standard attire in office environments. This obvious color-coding has been used to identify a difference in socio-economic class. This distinction is growing more blurred, however, with the increasing importance of skilled labor, and the growth of non-laboring, but low-paying, service sector jobs.
Blue-collar can also be used as an adjective to describe the environment of the blue-collar worker: e.g. a blue-collar neighborhood, job, restaurant, bar, etc., or a situation describing the use of manual effort and the strength required to do so.
Some distinctive elements of blue-collar work are the lesser requirements for formal academic education which is needed to succeed in other types of work. Blue-collar work typically is wage-labor and entails a labor model that involves a 1-minute-accurate clock-in system. Usually, the pay for such occupation is lower than that of the white-collar worker, although higher than many entry-level service occupations. Sometimes the work conditions can be strenuous or hazardous. Skilled blue-collar work often pays as well or better than careers requiring professional post-graduate degrees.
Blue collar workers exist in varying proportions throughout the industrial world, though several locations, such as the United States state of Pennsylvania, particularly the cities of Allentown and Pittsburgh, contain large numbers of blue-collar workers and both cities have sometimes been highlighted in popular culture because of their blue-collar reputations.
With the movement of many Western nations towards service based economy, the Blue-collar workforce has steadily decreased in size. At the same time skilled Blue-collar workers, mainly tradespeople working in the building industry, have seen rapidly rising wages."


I had to agree (except for the rising wages part, I think my father and husband would disagree). Fred works as a forman for a concrete company (labor) and I work in the service industry in hospitality (service). Fred's father was a farmer (he passed away when Fred was five) and his mother works as a home health aide. My father is a master carpenter who still works full time as well as my mother who now works as the administrator in a waldorf high school, although she was a midwife when I was growing up. My mothers father worked as a toll booth operator for the New Jersey turnpike, her mother as a secretary. My fathers father was a stone mason and volunteer firefighter, his mother in a deli. Fred's family on his fathers side were farmers, I will have to check with him again to see if he knows more details. What is consistent however, is that both our families immigrated to America at one point not too far back. Mostly Irish, but also Lithuanian, Scottish and German. So it seems to me, even though the levels of ones- and the whole country's- bank account determine what financial class you are considered, low- middle- upper, blue collar has always meant the same thing.

I like it, I think it fits.

The only detriment to the term blue collar is the comedy tour we have all heard of. We have watched the dvd's and they are funny. But some of them make blue collar "folks" seem dumb and uneducated. I do not think this is true.

Crazy Hotel Workers

You may or may not know that I have worked at a hotel for a bit over five years. I started at the front desk and am now working as a guest service manager over seeing about 20 staff members. Hotel work is, well...interesting. I attended two years of college after high school majoring in social work, so the hospitality business was never a career move for me. But the position came about at a time when I needed it and it does provide us with some health insurance coverage. Sometimes though, I really have to question myself if $12 an hour is worth my loss of sanity.

The truth of the matter is that hotels can bring out the absolute worst in people. Not to say everyone is awful, we definitely have some great regulars who are very nice, but some people are just shocking. About two weeks ago I came in a bit early on a Monday since the front desk clerk had a doctors appointment. A guest approached the front desk about 25 minutes after I had arrived at work. He told me he was unhappy with the rate of his room and demanded I do something about it. I asked him if he knew how much the room had cost before he stayed with us. He said yes, but it was too high. I explained that, like an airline, our rates do fluctuate and the rate at which you booked your room was the final rate you needed to pay. The man became furious and said I was being snotty and not helping him. He then yelled at me saying I do not "deserve" my job and that he was going to call our corporate headquarters and complain and by the way, he hoped I lose my job. It was really a lovely way to start my day. Thankfully he was just as rude and belligerent to the woman he spoke to at corporate so they did not file a complaint case. And as far as yelling and literally screaming at me- this guy was tame, there have been many scenarios that were much worse. And what about the people that do not tip their housekeepers?! This is so important people! Remember that your housekeeper is most likely making minimum wage and believe me it is absolutely back breaking work. Anyway, imagine my delight when I found this web site called CrazyHotelWorkers. Its great! It allows workers to vent or tell their stories so that you do not feel alone. You mean I am not the only one who has been told what a b***h I am because I will not give you a discount on your room? Really?

Here's some snippets from their site:
"Hospitality workers have seen it all; housekeepers know how you live, servers know how you eat, front desk know how you treat others, night auditors know your sleeping patterns. How’s that for creepy? So you there, that wanders around all night in your too-tight PJs, you that doesn’t tip your server at all, you that leaves your room a disaster for housekeeping, and yet we still treat you great. It’s who and what we are. Just think for a minute, how creepy is it that you can stay here and we find out that much about you."

"A guy calls up...ME: Blah blah, how can I help you?
HIM: Hi, we're going to be coming through town on... its a Friday, lemme just look here... oh yes, we'll be in town for *blah blah family thing I don't care about* on the 16th.
ME: Ok... were you looking for a room w/ 1 bed or 2?HIM: It'll be 2 rooms w/ 1 bed, for 4 adults.
ME: Alright, it'd be $65 +tax per room.
HIM: Hmm... Is that the best you can do? [I HATE when people ask this. Try coming here when we're actually busy the rates are +$20-$30.]
ME: Yes, unless you have AAA or AARP.
HIM: On Expedia it's cheaper though!
ME: Yes, sometimes there are lower or higher rates online - if you want an online rate though you have to book it online.
HIM: K fine. *Click*
It infuriates me that people still don't understand these online rates/discount sites. THEY AREN'T CONNECTED W/ US. I also don't need the 2 minute explanation of why and when you'll be in town, you're wasting my time - its not like you're just being friendly and trying to chat, its just straight up babbling. And I automatically hate anyone who asks "Is that the best you can do?"

Adoption challenges

There has been a lot of grumbling and discussion's concerning the newest policy in Ethiopia. I am not sure if it is for all agencies, I believe it is, but I know our agency (WHFC) have made it a new rule.

"Effective immediately, families staying in hotels will not be able to take custody of children until after the coffee ceremony, on the day before departure. This means that families would be able to visit with the child for as long as they would like during the day, however, would not be able to take the child to their hotel with them. Families staying in the guest houses will be able to take custody of the child at any time during the trip, whenever feels appropriate for the family and the child. The reason for this change in policy is based on the current trend of increasingly negative views toward adoption in Ethiopia. As the number of adoptions is increasing, there is more visibility of adopted children in public, and an increasing number of questions and concerns about children being adopted abroad. ______ has informed us this week that additionally there have been some recent incidents with European families staying in hotels with their adopted child that have resulted in negative publicity toward international adoption. There are reports of children acting out in public, communication problems between the adoptive family and the child, as well as concerns about those families' parenting abilities. It is also likely that the recent child trafficking situation in Chad may be partly responsible for this shift in Ethiopia. The adoption forum, which is an advisory group comprised of representatives from each country including representatives from the Ethiopian government, met this week to discuss the question of how to minimize the effects of negative publicity related international adoption. The recommendation from the Ethiopian government is to require that families living in hotels visit the children daily in lieu of taking custody of them. Based on this recommendation from the Ethiopian government, WHFC has made this policy change."

And if you are unfamiliar with the situation in Chad:

"A French group calling itself Zoe's Ark was stopped last week from flying the children it described as orphans from Sudan's Darfur to Europe, where the group said it intended to place them with host families. Seventeen Europeans have been detained by Chadian authorities, including six French citizens who were charged with kidnapping. The group says its intentions were purely humanitarian." Read more here, or here.

Its not that I necessarily disagree with the new rules, I do understand the reasoning. I am just worried we will not be able to stay in the guest house, as it may fill up more quickly now. It is reserved on a first come, first serve basis. Especially as I hope to breastfeed (and would hope for that to start as soon as humanly possible). I have always wanted to stay at the guest house anyway, I don't really get not wanting that experience. But, to each their own. Well, it is what it is, and who knows how it will be when we actually make it to the top of the waiting list.

BTW, I was reminded the other day that my intention was to keep this blog strictly about adoption, and not about politics. I have decided however, that this blog is a reflection of me, and my family, and therefor I will blog about whats on my mind. Since I enjoy politics (is it possible to actually enjoy it?!) or should I say I am fascinated by it, it will end up on here. I think its important to understand the way our country is changing, and I think its incomprehensible not to educate one self and actively vote for what you believe in.

Addendum

The morning after I wrote my last post I was picking up dog toys in the living room and came accross another book I am reading. Its called "Does Anybody Else Look Like Me" by Donna Jackson Nakazawa.
This is a really good book that requires patience and concentration to get through. A few weeks ago Kiana was in an after school class where they were forming a circle for a sports game. A little boy in the fourth grade told Kiana that he didn't want to stand next to her because she was black. I am so grateful that I have a daughter who feels like she can talk to me about these things. We discussed what it meant for this boy to say this, and what the options of a response could be in the future. I think having done some reading of this book really helped me to offer some suggestions without telling her what to do. I respected Kiana's wishes not to speak to the parents of this child, but I did speak to her main teacher just to make her aware. I am glad to report she was very receptive to being more aware of the dynamics in the classes.

When I went to bed the night after I wrote my last post, I saw two books by the side of my bed that I have not finished. I just felt like I wasn't being truthful if I didn't divulge my wading in too many books, lol. By my bed is Dr. Robin's book "Lies at the Alter, The Truth About Great Marriages". This book is very down to earth and I'm enjoying it. The only problem is that it has little projects in it that you are supposed to do, and that takes a little more effort, so I have not finished it. I fell in love with Dr. Robins radio show on XM 156. For my 35 minutes each way ride to and from work I try to catch her being on and giving advice. Usually I'm tuned to Air America (ch.167) because I love, love, love Randi Rhodes, Sam Seder and Rachel Maddow, or sometimes it will be on NPR locally. But its good for me to have a break from politics sometimes as it can get very frustrating. So, if I am not listening to Keisha Coles new album, I'm listening to Dr. Robin and trying to become a better person.

Newest favorite quote?

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err".

-Mohandas K. Gandhi

I put this up on my cork board at work :)

I am also reading, but not finished with: "Hold on to Your kids" by Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Mate, "Passionate Marriage" by David Schnarch and "Conversations with Dog" by Kate Solisti-Mattelon. All of these books I like, which is why I am still trying to read them, I am just having a hard time choosing to read them right now. I decided not to renew Newsweek, The Nation or American Prospect. I am down to just receiving Mothering, Mother Jones, The Lowdown and The Sun magazines. I just so enjoy reading and I want to take it all in, as much good stuff as I can. Its a whole 'nother world inside the pages.

This morning I read this article about TransAfrica and Danny Glover. I read about the very brave Dennis Kucinich and his hard work towards a hearing for the impeachment of Dick Cheney. I checked in on the blog Army of Dude. This is an awsome blog with real soldiars telling real life experiences. We know so little of what they know.

I read about the alarming high school drop out rates and how "No child left behind" is most definately leaving them behind. And finally I read about more Bush dirt being swept under the carpet of public knowledge.

"If you haven’t been exposed to Project Censored, plan on spending several hours reading about the kind of media suppression and bias that we cover daily here at C&L. Every year they compile a list of the top 25 news stories that you just didn’t hear about through the traditional media. Here’s 2008’s List:

# 1 No Habeas Corpus for “Any Person”

# 2 Bush Moves Toward Martial Law
# 3 AFRICOM: US Military Control of Africa’s Resources

#4 Frenzy of Increasingly Destructive Trade Agreements

# 5 Human Traffic Builds US Embassy in Iraq

# 6 Operation FALCON Raids

# 7 Behind Blackwater Inc.

# 8 KIA: The US Neoliberal Invasion of India

# 9 Privatization of America’s Infrastructure

# 10 Vulture Funds Threaten Poor Nations’ Debt Relief

# 11 The Scam of “Reconstruction” in Afghanistan

# 12 Another Massacre in Haiti by UN Troops

# 13 Immigrant Roundups to Gain Cheap Labor for US Corporate Giants

# 14 Impunity for US War Criminals

# 15 Toxic Exposure Can Be Transmitted to Future Generations on a “Second Genetic Code”

# 16 No Hard Evidence Connecting Bin Laden to 9/11

# 17 Drinking Water Contaminated by Military and Corporations

# 18 Mexico’s Stolen Election

# 19 People’s Movement Challenges Neoliberal Agenda (Free Trade through Central and South America)

# 20 Terror Act Against Animal Activists

# 21 US Seeks WTO Immunity for Illegal Farm Payments

# 22 North Invades Mexico

# 23 Feinstein’s Conflict of Interest in Iraq

# 24 Media Misquotes Threat From Iran’s President

# 25 Who Will Profit from Native Energy?

Background and updates on all these stories available at Project Censored. "

OK, now I feel better- I have divulged my poor reading habits, the fact that I may bite off more than I can chew? Now if only I can feel the same way about cleaning as I do about reading. Lenea says that she can go into a "zone" when cleaning, and just get it done. I need to know how to do that.

reading, reading, reading

I absolutely promised myself I was not going to spend the extra hour of sleep that was bestowed on us being on the computer. I logged on to read my e mail. I was happy to see a message from my aunt and some daily yahoo group digests. I'm reading about the scary privatization of the foster care system that is increasingly playing a role in the lives of children. I just don't get it, we privatize the military and now .40 cents of every one of our tax dollars is paying for blackwater? People are claiming private agencies are handling the children in foster care more efficiently, but yet they can not afford to hire more social workers to improve the state run adoption system? The state cries that they can not find nearly enough foster homes for all the children that need long term or temporary shelter. Yet states that adequately reimburse foster families for the care of the children are few and far between. The system is in crisis. Even Mr. Giuliani's home town has not succeeded in putting the young children at risk in his city first. Just not a priority.

"The tensions only worsened in the late 1980s and early ’90s as the crack epidemic sent tens of thousands of additional children into foster care, nearly all of them black or Latino. Overwhelmed, the foster care system began to fail. Newborn babies were left in hospitals; children who had been removed from their homes for their own safety were made to sleep in city offices for nights on end; those who made it into foster homes regularly became lost in a netherworld of bureaucratic indolence."

This is a really interesting thread in my foster care yahoo group- privatization, government inadequacies, reimbursement and the never ending phone call and paper chase.

Here's an interesting story from Ireland. People everywhere are becoming parents to Ethiopia's children!

Mother to visit Ethiopia after court ruling.

This gorgeous lady is doing so much great work in Ethiopia. Check out her charity work and organization called the liya kebede foundation. Aren't her children precious? They are too cute.

In other good new I recently heard from Ken and he's going to stop by and help me change the name of the blog and forward traffic and everything else complicated. I will also update a few things and put in favorite blogs I frequent etc. Thanks to Katy over at straightmagic for showing me how to embed a link properly. Unfortunately I stopped by her blog earlier tonight and spent at least thirty minutes following links and reading news threads about war and other heart wrenching situations. Its bad enough I was invested in the outcome of her disappearing kitty (yes, he made it home), now I am also reading about more disappointing failures of our government and its relationship with Africa. I know, I know its a reality.

I finished a few books this past month. I read "A Long Way Gone- Memoirs of a Boy Soldier" by Ishmael Beah. A really sorrowful book that states with out apology the brutal things adults can do to helpless children. And yet this man lives to tell the story. I only wish the end had been more detailed, it was too abrupt for me.

I also read "Beyond the Whiteness of Whiteness" by Jane Lazarre. Actually, I haven't really finished it yet, its kind of loosing my interest. But I will finish it, I can definitely learn from it.

I enjoyed the book "The secret Life of Bees" by Sue Monk Kidd. I know she got alot of press for this book and I think she deserved it. It was a great read, emotionally touching but somehow real as well. I finally finished that book "How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk" that's a long title. I had read it before half way or parts of it, but I got through it his time. I have started on
"Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated by Anthony E. Wolf . Because lets face it, Kiana will be a teen in no time. I was super tough on my parents, and I still kind of believe in karma, so I'm scared. Teen attitude anyone?

It has been so much longer than an hour...

Our newest family member

No- not the baby, not yet.

Actually I have so, so much stuff I would love to put on my blog. It has been a while since I have posted, and in the duration I have collected a bunch of interesting tid bits.

But- since this little furry chick has been occupying quite a bit of my blogging and calling people I care about time- I have been asked to post some pictures and tell the story. I will try not to make it too long :)

About four weeks ago Fred came home from work and said he had overheard a conversation at the garage about a woman who needed to "get rid" of a puppy. All he knew was that it was a papillion. I was,of course, intrigued. We called this woman and she said she had already given away the puppy but she had an older female that was no longer getting pregnant when she was in heat. I was immediately concerned that this was a breeder, and I do not in any way want to be supporting or encouraging breeding- especially when the goal is to make money off them.

But the idea that she was getting rid of dogs concerned me. We drove over to her house tucked into the woods off a main road. She showed us all the puppies- about twenty- of different mothers in different pens in the house. I continued to ask about the dogs she didn't want, I explained I was not comfortable buying dogs. Then we went outside to the garage. About twelve papillions were stacked in small wire cages stacked three or four high. In the bottom row was a chow, and two viszlas in larger cages. Fred gave me little hand signals trying to encourage me not to say too much. All the dogs were scratching at the front doors of their cages, trying to get our attention. When she let me hold this little female all I could think about was getting at least one dog out of this kind of life. She said we could have her over the weekend and then let her know if we wanted to keep her. We brought her home and introduced her to the other dogs and of course to Kiana. I gave her a much needed bath, spent a while cleaning out the dirt in her ears and cutting out the mats from her fur, especially around her cute, big ears. I trimmed the hair that had grown over her toes- she had to step on it anytime she walked. When she was brushed and dry she almost looked like a different dog.

Of course we didn't give her back.

Yesterday I picked her up at the vets. She had gotten spayed and had eight teeth removed. The doctor said on a scale of one to five her mouth was a six. "It was a sewer in there" were his exact words. Now she has only ten teeth left in her mouth, and I have to wonder what happened to the other fourteen. This dog may have lived the majority of her life with pain in her mouth. She's gotten much better than when we first took her in. She's not nearly as scared. She is incredibly sweet and will follow me all around the house. She loves walks in the corn fields and in the woods. She is friendly to everyone and loves the kids affection. At Fred's mud bogging event she was a big hit with the little girls that were in attendance. So- she is our newest addition to the ark (and by the way- when Kiana saw a parrot up for adoption recently I said no- I swear!- no cleaning up after birds for me:)

Speaking of the mud bog... Fred entered the truck (he built and drives everyday) into this event. It was a jack and jill for some people I do not know- but they let anyone enter the event. Fred had warned me ahead of time since it was going on the day of our five year anniversary. They made a little announcement saying thank you to Fred's wife for letting him come out to play, it was funny. The trucks are in different classes and have to go against one another and see who drives through a road way of mud the fastest. OK, I admit it, I don't really get the point of it either. But Fred enjoys it so we all came out to support him.

For some reason it was very cold and windy that day, but we all had a good time. Fred didn't win a trophy this time, but there were many, many trucks there. And since it was on a huge farm down the road from us, all the food was farm fresh and lots of milk.

On the adoption news- there is none. The wait times get longer and longer. The wait times from referral to pick up get longer. There is nothing we can do about that. Our social worker Susan, who has been with Wide Horizons in West Hartford for almost nine years is resigning. Apparently she was offered a job with the state with great benefit's and so is changing gears. I wish her luck, and I'm a bit nervous about who our new social worker will be.

I read this great article http://www.motherjones.com/news/feature/2007/11/did-i-steal-my-daughter.html that shows a truly fascinating view on adoption and on this woman's experience in her own life. Here's a quote to entice you to read the article...

"And that's when it finally sank in: Beatriz hadn't made a "choice" in the liberating way that our post-Roe culture thinks about reproductive options. Like any woman in the developing world placing a child for adoption, she'd buckled under crushing financial or social pressure—perhaps even coercion. I'd considered this before, but had always batted the thought away by telling myself that Flora was going to be adopted, whether it was we who stepped forward or someone else."

And some great news- I spoke with Fred's brother the other day and they are going to meet a potential foster to adopt match this weekend! Shane and his husband Johnny have been licensed with the state of California for about a year. They went to an adoption fair recently and met two brothers, five and seven. The social workers have approved the match and now they start visits. Although you can never be sure of the outcome when you are working with the state, everything sounds good so far. Its very exciting!

OK- I'm off to pick up Kiana from her theatre class. She is a hair dresser in a small production of Mulan, its very cute. Her performance will be on December 16th and 17th if anyone would like to go. She sounds great!

Harley and Bella cuddle while dad takes off his work boots.

Kiana on the phone with her birth father. Doesn't she look grown?