So cute- May 2003

 

Come here Quincy...

Quincy- who is affectionate on his terms only- gets a little (perhaps unappreciated) love from Kiana :)

Such a great book

I have just finished a GREAT book which I highly reccomend. Its called,
"There Is No Me Without You"
http://www.thereisnomewithoutyou.com/

It is really a wonderful book. She does a great job of telling the story without making a judgement. She allows you to create your own conclusion about what the world could be doing.


"...Inspiration
A few years ago, in the summer of 2000 in Atlanta, I was lounging by our sunny kitchen bay window, finishing my coffee, idly screwing in a pierced earring, as the Sunday newspapers spread their dark news across the table. I brushed off the scattering of poppy seeds from bagels in order to look closer.
Had I ever read this before?: the United Nations was describing Africa as "a continent of orphans."
It hadn't seized me until now.
HIV/AIDS had killed more than twenty-one million people, including four million children, the article said.
More than 13 million children had been orphaned, 12 million of them in sub-Saharan Africa.
Within the next few years, there could be 25 million orphaned children in Africa. In a dozen countries, up to a quarter of the nation’s children would be orphans.
Well, these numbers were completely ridiculous.
Who was going to raise twelve million children?
My husband Don Samuel and I had days when we thought we'd be driven insane by our five children.
Who would teach twelve million children how to swim? Who was signing twelve million permission slips for school field trips? Who packed twelve million school lunches? Who cheered at twelve million soccer games? (That sounded like our weekends.) Who was going to buy twelve million pairs of sneakers that light up when you jump? Backpacks? Toothbrushes? Twelve million pairs of socks? Who will tell twelve million bedtime stories? Who will quiz twelve million children on Thursday nights for their Friday-morning spelling tests? Twelve million trips to the dentist? Twelve million birthday parties?
Who gets up in the night in response to twelve million bad dreams?
There Is No Me Without You is the result of my quest to find out.
There aren't nearly enough adults out there—an entire generation of parents is being erased by the HIV/AIDS pandemic in Africa—but there are a few. This book is the story of one of them."
By Melissa Faye Green

My mother says I read too many depressing books, but this one is truly moving as well as being a bit sad. I hope to be one of the lucky parents who gets to bring a little one home :)

This new blog (and a new niece!)

As you may have noticed, I tried to transfer all my previous postings from my yahoo page onto this one. I hope I included the actual day I wrote it when I cut and pasted. I found this blog spot easier to read and less busy. Hopefully you will enjoy it.
I have lots of pictures on my yahoo page that I will keep up for a while. If you would like to visit its:
http://360.yahoo.com/annahwhite

We have officially started the adoption process. We have sent in our registration forms to the agency Wide Horizons For Children. We are now waiting to start our home study. We are told it is approximately a twelve month wait. It seems very long to me. Just a year ago they were telling people three to six months. But the program has had more publicity (Angelina Jolie anyone?) and there for more people adopting and a longer wait. But it is out of our control, so we will just continue to allow ourselves to be open to what ever may come our way.

This blog is not only to let you know how things are progressing, but also a place for me to record my thought's as we wait. I like being able to share quotes, articles and writing I have enjoyed. I hope you take interest.

This was forwarded to me from a fellow employee:

Five (5) lessons about the way we treat people.


1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldnt' t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping! The roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away". Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

I thought this was great. I often get forwards, and usually enjoy them. I am currently working on a fund raising brochure to send out. The first time I sent our letter out, I do not think it was quite clear enough, and so I am going to try a different approach. I know there ar emore kindred spirits out there!

And last but certainly not least, I am officially an aunt! My sister Elspeth Delaney, and her husband, David Paul had a little girl earlier this week! They named her Delaney Clare Paul. Congratulations! Isn't she cute?! And so much hair!

Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned

by Ronald K. Pendleton, Ph.D.
Professor of Education California State University, San Bernardino.


What I have learned, but not all that I have learned
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do,
but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important.
It's what they do about it.
I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that sometimes I just need to be held.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion eases and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that if you don't want to forget something,
stick it in your underwear drawer.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.
I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life,
but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.
I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Death is Nothing at All

Death is Nothing at All

by Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)Canon of St. Paul's Cathedral sometimes referred to as 'What is Death?'

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without affect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.

Chief Seattle's Reply

Chief Seattle's Reply

How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? That idea is
strange to us.
If we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water,
how can you buy them?
Every part of this earth is sacred to my people.
Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark
woods, every clearing and humming insect is holy in the memory and
experience of my people.
The sap which courses through the trees carries the memory of the red man.
The white man's dead forget the country of their birth when they go to
walk among the stars. Our dead never forget this beautiful earth, for it
is the mother of the red man.
We are part of the earth and it is part of us.
The perfumed flowers are our sisters, the deer, the horse, the great
eagle, these are our brothers.
The rocky crests, the juices in the meadows, the body heat of the pony,
and man - all belong to the same family.
So, when the Great Chief in Washington sends word that he wishes to
buy our land, he asks much of us. The Great Chief sends word he will
reserve us a place so that we can live comfortably to ourselves.
He will be our father and we will be his children. So we will consider
your offer to buy our land.
But it will not be easy. For this land is sacred to us.
This shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not just water
but the blood of our ancestors.
If we sell you land, you must remember that it is sacred, and you must
teach your children that it is sacred and that the ghostly reflection in
the clear water of the lakes tells us events and memories in the life of
my people.
The water's murmur is the voice of my father's father.
The rivers are our brothers, they quench our thirst. The rivers carry our
cannoes, feed our children. If we sell our land, you must learn, and teach
your children, that the rivers are our brothers, and yours, and you must
henceforth give the rivers the kindness you would give any brother.
We know that the white man does not understand our ways. One portion of
the land is the same to him as the next, for he is a stranger who comes in
the night and takes from the land whatever he needs.
The earth is not his brother, but his enemy, and when he has conquered it,
he moves on.
He leaves his father's grave behind, and he does not care. He kidnaps the
earth from his children, and he does not care.
His father's grave and his children's birthright are forgotten.
He treats his mother, the earth, and his brother, the sky, as things to be
bought, plundered, sold like sheep or bright beads.
His appetite will devour the earth and leave behind only a desert.
I do not know. Our ways are different than yours.
The sight of your cities pains the eyes of the red man. But perhaps
because the red man is a savage and does not understand.
There is no quiet place in the white man's cities. No place to hear the
unfurling leaves in spring, or the rustle of an insects wings.
But perhaps it is because I am a savage and do not understand.
The clatter only seems to insult the ears. And what is there to life if
man cannot hear the lonely cry of the whippoorwill or the arguments of the
frogs around a pond at night ? I am red man and do not understand.
The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind darting over the face of a
pond, and the smell of the wind itself, cleaned by a mid-day rain, or
scented by the pinon pine.
The air is precious to the red man, for all things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man, they all share the same breath.
The white man does not seem to notice the air he breaths. Like a man dying
for many days is numb to the stench.
But if we sell you our land, you must remember that the air is precious to
us, that the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath
also receives his last sigh.
And if we sell you our land, you must keep it apart and sacred, as a
place where even the white man can go to taste the wind that is sweetened
by the meadows flowers.
So we will consider your offer to buy our land. If we decide to accept,
I'll make one condition, the white man must treat the beasts of this land
as his brothers.
I am a savage and I do not understand any other way.
I have seen a thousand rotting buffaloes on the prairie, left by the white
man who shot them from a passing train.
I am a savage and I do not understand how the smoking iron horse can be
more important than the buffalo that we kill only to stay alive.
What is man without the beasts ? If all the beasts were gone, man would
die from a great loneliness of spirit.
For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are
connected.
You must teach the children that the ground beneath their feet is the
ashes of your grandfathers. So that they will respect the land, tell your
children that the earth is rich with the lives of our kin.
Teach your children what we have taught our children, that the earth is
our mother.
Whatever befalls the earth, befalls the sons of the earth. If men spit
upon the ground, they spit upon themselves.
This we know, the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth.
This we know.
All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things
are connected.
Whatever befalls the earth, befalls the sons of the earth. Man did not
weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to
the web, he does to himself.
Even the white man, whose God walks and talks with him as friend to
friend, cannot be exempt from the common destiny.
We may be brothers after all.
We shall see.
One thing we know, which the white man may discover one day - our God is
the same God.
You may think you know that you own Him as you wish to own our land, but you
cannot. He is the God of man, and His compassion is equal for the red man
and the white.
This earth is precious to him, and to harm the earth is to heap contempt
on its Creator.
The whites too shall pass, perhaps sooner than all other tribes.
Contaminate your bed, and you will one night suffocate in your own waste.
But in your perishing you will shine brightly, fired by the strength of
the God who brought you to this land and for some special purpose gave you
dominion over this land and over the red man.
That destiny is a mystery to us, for we do not understand when the buffalo
are all slaughtered, the wild horses are tamed, the secret corners of the
forest heavy with the scent of many men, and the view of the ripe hills
blotted by talking wires.
Where is the thicket ? Gone.
Where is the eagle ? Gone.
The end of living and beginning of survival.
-- Chief Sealth (Seattle)

Tag Sale a huge success! ...and other interesting tid bits...

We finally pulled it off and had our tag sale. WOW! I never knew just how much work it could be! I think we could have run the tag sale for two more days and still had stuff left over, lol. Are you ready for the grand total? Combining both Kiana's table and ours, it is $1,117.68!!!!!
The weather was a humid 90 degrees or so and everyone was sweating. Almost every one that bought something were just people driving by. We have a great location for it. Unfortunately I forgot to take pictures. Its amazing how many things we had! Towards the end of the day on Sunday we started giving everything away for free. Many people asked if we were going to be out again. I laughed- no way! But it was a great outcome and well worth the work.
I recentley sent out a quick e mail:

Hello Everyone!
It doesn't seem that long ago I was sitting at home at my desk trying to compose our letter. Now just three months later we are moving right along!!! Our goal is to raise $30,000.00 and so far we have raised $5, 200.00! This is enough for us to start our home study process. We are filling out forms and choosing the agency to work with. We have met so many great people that are so encouraging- so many peoples lives have been touched by adoption, its just wonderful.
Thank you so much to everyone that has donated! If all our friends, family members and associates could donate $25.00, and maybe their friends would also be willing to donate $25.00, we could permanently change the direction of a child at risk's life. Less than a tank of gas! And you would be able to see and hold a child that you helped bring to the Berkshires. I cant thank everyone enough for your kindness.
An especially huge thanks to Doris and Lenea for sweating in 90 degree weather this weekend to make our Tag Sale a huge success. Without their assistance, directions and great attitudes we could have never made it happen. These amazing woman are the type of friends you can really count on when the going gets tough! We had at least ten years worth of clothes and "stuff". I never knew a Tag Sale was SO much work- wow. Thanks to Ellie for driving all the way from Maynard and bringing us brownies, and to Mom and others who donated items (especially all the great shoes)! I will post a final tally on our web page soon!
Anyone who knows what we have been through in the last four years trying to add to our family understands how important this fund raising to adopt a child is to us. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone.

"Stay the course, light a star, Change the world where\'er you are." --Richard Le Gallienne
Best Wishes,
Anna, Fred and Kiana



Its been a great month for us, full of changes. Cleaning out the house and shed. Working on the house and yard. We made an interesting change- about 2 months ago our TV died. It was farely old and had lost its picture. We borrowed a freinds for a while and when she needed it back we figured we would buy one. A week went by and then another. We realized it was much better with out it! We talk more and read. We started listening to XM satillite radio which is really neat. So we have decided to cut off our cable and put that money into buying life insurance which we have been meaning to do anyway. We have a tiny TV downstairs we like to use for movies which is fine. I will let you know how it goes...
Heres a neat quote;
"We go to movies, we watch television, we see photographs, and as the images pour into us, we believe we can choose between those we wish to absorb and those we don't. We assume that our rational processes protect us from implantation, or brainwashing. What we fail to realise is the difference between fact and image. Our objective processes can help us resist only one kind of implantation. There is no rejection of images. "
--Jerry Mander
and......
"The term "TV addiction" is imprecise and laden with value judgments, but it captures the essence of a very real phenomenon. On average, individuals in the industrialized world devote three hours a day to the pursuit -- fully half of their leisure time, and more than on any single activity save work and sleep. At this rate, someone who lives to 75 would spend nine years in front of the tube!..."

Boy thats scary. I dont consider myself zealous about the issue, but it does strike me as incredibly important. Just the other day Lenea and I were discussing why no one tells family stories anymore. I remember having family gatherings where my Grandfather Delaney would tell stories about growing up in New Jersey, part of a big Irish family. Those times were magical and hold great memories for me. And yet people dont seem to do this very often anymore. We all seem to know so little about out history and back ground. I believe everyone does not talk to each other enough any more. Real communication where you honestly learn from the other person. There was a fantastic show on PBS that I reccomend everyone should try to see. It looks into peoples roots and through science can speciffically track where your ancestors were from. Just amazing.





http://www.shoppbs.org/product


So I will see how our experiment with out TV goes and let you know. Not that television was a daily thing for us, but it certainly was an interference. Dont get me wrong though- we still watch Cesar Millan the dog trainer on DVD and some other great movies. Movie night is always fun. Has anyone else become hooked on Cesar Millan? Check out:
http://www.cesarmillaninc.com






This man is simply amazing! He may actually shame you into having well behaved dogs! Wouldnt it be great, . Isn't it awful when you walk into someones house and their dog jumps all over you? We are trying so hard to work on this with Bella- the munchkin. Kiana and I particularely enjoy watching his shows on DVD. Its especially wonderful how many dogs he saves from being euthanized, in particular the pitt bull and mixes. A wonderful but powerfull breed that is too often not trained correctly and not owned by loving people. As many of you know, we have Harley who we rescued from Connecticut pit bull rescue five years ago. With firm and consistant disapline she has turned out to be a fantastic companion. She really loves Kiana. Truly, all the dogs adore her!


The other night we went to see the movie "The Inconvenient Truth" by Al Gore. What an amazing movie, I highly reccomend it. Its actually not a political movie as much as it is a warning of what the cause and effect of our actions are.
http://www.climatecrisis.net/

Some great quotes from this move:
Al Gore: [quoting Mark Twain] "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
Al Gore: [quoting Upton Sinclair] "You can't make somebody understand something if their salary depends upon them not understanding it."

Saturday July 15, 2006

Just a thought

"People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering." --St Augustine

Sunday July 2, 2006

I thought this was so very... real.

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals or
have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be
careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithless
and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty
even when it's not pretty, every day,
and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes"!

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and
despair, weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

-- Oriah Mountain Dreamer
29 Mar 2001

"...great! so where can I send a donation?"

My favorite question! Although it is listed on the very first entry, I will happily list it here as well. As always please call me with any questions.
Adoption Sponsorship Donations
Berkshire Bank
255 Stockbridge Road
Great Barrington, MA 01230
Thank you, thank you, thankyou!
Friday July 28, 2006 -

More Quotes I like :)

"The number one task is to move from inter-dependence -- which can be good or bad -- to an integrated global community in which there is a shared future, shared responsibilities, shared prosperity and, most importantly, shared values. ... The only way we can live together is if we say the celebration of our differences requires us to say that our common humanity matters more."
--Bill Clinton

"There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up."
Booker T. Washington

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are."
--Anthony Robbins

"Happy people roll with the punches. They know from experience that everything changes. Today's good fortune may vanish tomorrow, today's crises may turn out to be tomorrow's good fortune."
--Author Unknown

"Never has the world been so small where you can just reach out and help. We’re at such an inflection point. There’s never been more opportunity to just make things great."
--Ben Goldhirsh

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
--Leo Buscaglia

"We go to movies, we watch television, we see photographs, and as the images pour into us, we believe we can choose between those we wish to absorb and those we don't. We assume that our rational processes protect us from implantation, or brainwashing. What we fail to realise is the difference between fact and image. Our objective processes can help us resist only one kind of implantation. There is no rejection of images."
--Jerry Mander

"Stay the course, light a star, Change the world where'er you are. "
--Richard Le Gallienne

When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him.
--Albert Camus

As we respond with caring and vision to all work, we develop our capacity to respond fully to all of life. Every action generates positive energy which can be shared with others. These qualities of caring and responsiveness are the greatest gift we can offer.
--Tarthang Tulku

By clearing one's own mind so that all restrictions, all limitations have been broken. That's what I mean by expansion. Having a heart that can accept the whole world as our home.
--Subba Rao

Two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we take; the larger kind we feel for what we give. --Edwin Arlington Robinson




Saturday August 19, 2006

TAG SALE FUNDRAISER!!!

We have been incredibly busy preparing for our big tag sale at the end of this month. I have never completed such a huge cleaning of our things. We had so much stuff! I think we never realize how much we truly have until we lay it all out. Anything we havent used or needed in the last year is being sold. I am also so proud of Kiana- she independently went through all of her things and really decided to sell many of her toys etc. It is such a great feeling to have emptied half of our house. I reccomend it to anyone that can make the time and spend the energy. Thank you Lenea for all your help!
Keep an eye out for our ad in the Shoppers Guide- and quality donations are welcome
Tuesday June 13, 2006 - 10:24pm

I truly believe in what we are trying to do......

I recently sent this web page out as a link in an e mail. I sent it to as many people as I could requesting that they forward it to many people. I also asked my freinds and family for addresses of people they thought might be interested in donating to our cause so I could snail mail them letters. I was so very discouraged when one person told me that "they didnt know anyone with that kind of money". I have thought about this and wondered exactly what that means? Do you have to own two houses and three cars to be able to contribute to something? I dont believe so. We all posess the power that money has, because we all have a little. The cost of living continually goes up, and yet we find a way to move forward because we must. I am filled with the belief that many people together giving anything that they can will be the way we bring our child home. It is so unfortunate that we live in fear every day of loosing our control over our money. Our societys focus on having more has filled our homes and hearts with "stuff". So is this person saying to me that they do not know anyone who has somehow been touched by adoption in their life? No one who would be willing to donate the cost of a tank of gas? Or a dinner out on the town? Are we so disconnected with the world around us that people are not willing to see the benifit of saving a childs life half way around the world? I am not sure how to change others minds of the power they posess within themselves. I have found the older I get the more I enjoy giving in any way I can. When we started I felt guilty to be asking people to contribute. It has taken many conversations for me to understand that this is not a selfish request we are making. I suppose when Fred and I realized that we would not be able to conceive a child naturally I could have immediately gone to our health insurance and looked into invitro procedures. But we both strongly felt that giving our love and support to a child already on this planet held the most meaning for us. So wether it takes us six months to raise the money, or six years- I will still keep working towards the goal of bringing an orphaned child to our tiny portion of the world.


"Believe in the impossible. We have the power to make this an amazing society ... if we work together. Be a part of it. Make waves."
--Robert Egger

"All human beings are part of the tapestry of the universe, part of a pattern which connects. Nothing exists in isolation, in separateness. When I realize this network of grand relationships, I lose the illusion of my separate self."
--Satish Kumar

"I have one life and one chance to make it count for something . . . I'm free to choose what that something is, and the something I've chosen is my faith. Now, my faith goes beyond theology and religion and requires considerable work and effort. My faith demands -- this is not optional -- my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference. "
--Jimmy Carter

"In every community there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart there is the power to do it."
--Marianne Williamson

"All of life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied to a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly ."
--Martin Luther King

"Work is love made visible. "
--Kahlil Gibran

"Look at each day as a chance to invest life into life. Each day is a chance to work miracles in the lives of others."
--Jim Rohn

Thursday June 15, 2006 - 07:35am (EDT)

Rainer Maria Rilke quotes

This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love: the more they give, the more they possess.
Rainer Maria Rilke

The only journey is the one within.
Rainer Maria Rilke

The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.
Rainer Maria Rilke

The great renewal of the world will perhaps consist in this, that man and maid, freed of all false feelings and reluctances, will seek each other not as opposites, but as brother and sister, as neighbors, and will come together as human beings.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.
Rainer Maria Rilke

One had to take some action against fear when once it laid hold of one.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers.
Rainer Maria Rilke

For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Believe that with your feelings and your work you are taking part in the greatest; the more strongly you cultivate this belief, the more will reality and the world go forth from it.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words.
Rainer Maria Rilke

A funny and thought provoking chain mail letter...

Clarity of Thought
The paradox of our time in history is that we havetaller buildings but shorter tempers, widerfreeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We havebigger houses and smaller families, moreconveniences, but less time. We have more degreesbut less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment,more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, butless wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend toorecklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, gettoo angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, readtoo little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced ourvalues. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hatetoo often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.We've added years to life not life to years. We'vebeen all the way to the moon and back, but havetrouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.We conquered outer space but not inner space. We'vedone larger things, but not better things.We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. Wewrite more, but learn less. We plan more, butaccomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not towait. We build more computers to hold moreinformation, to produce more copies than ever, butwe communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slowdigestion, big men and small character, steepprofits and shallow relationships. These are thedays of two incomes but more divorce, fancierhouses, but broken homes. These are days of quicktrips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, onenight stands, overweight bodies, and pills that doeverything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window andnothing in the stockroom. A time when technology canbring this letter to you, and a time when you canchoose either to share this insight, or to just hitdelete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones,because they are not going to be around forever.Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up toyou in awe, because that little person soon willgrow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,because that is the only treasure you can give withyour heart and it doesn't cost a cent.Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner andyour loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss andan embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deepinside of you.Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment forsomeday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak, and give timeto share the precious thoughts in your mind.AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:Life is not measured by the number of breaths wetake, but by the moments that take our breath away.
If you don't send this to at least 8 people....who cares?
-George Carlin

Robert Kennedy

"Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he or she sends a tiny ripple of hope. Crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, these simple ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance."
-Robert Kennedy

An interesting article I wanted to pass on...

Nine Months in Guatemala
The author plays with her new baby’s 4-year-old brother Juan in Santiago Atitlán. Photo: Norma López.

BY LAURIE STERN
For years, I liked coming around the Resource Center of the Americas, the Minneapolis-based nonprofit publisher of AMERICAS.ORG. I loved the building the organization renovated last year, and expected it to be helpful and welcoming for our Guatemalan-born baby son. When I brought Diego to the Resource Center, however, I was surprised that while many people were delighted to see us, others seemed to be passing judgment. Were they assuming I came by my son unethically? I soon quit attending my Spanish class and “storytimes” at the Resource Center and began mulling it over.
Adoption is dicey by definition, a transaction between unequals. This is true for both international and domestic adoptions. It takes money to adopt, and desperation to relinquish a baby. The business is dominated by nonprofit agencies but still largely unregulated. There is plenty of room for opportunism and abuse, especially in poor countries, where more people need a hustle to make ends meet. It’s an imperfect system in an unfair world. My own experience illustrates the complexity and explains why I get angry when people prejudge us.
I almost didn’t adopt at all. I could barely stand the thought of exercising my North American middle-class privilege to acquire a child from a woman who had the disadvantage of being born an indigenous Guatemalan. If I were a better person I might have donated our hard-saved $20,000 to the Resource Center or found another way to care for a child.
In my 20s and 30s, I had a lot of fun traveling and indulging my journalism career. Then, two years ago, I decided that reporting on social dilemmas and other people’s lives was not enough. I wanted motherhood and all its complex commitments. I was that cliché of a woman who had waited too long to have a baby biologically.
I chose Guatemala because I’ve long cared about the place and its people. I speak some Spanish, anticipated visiting as our child grew up, and researched enough to know that most adopting parents got young healthy babies. I also learned about allegations of corruption, but reassured myself they were mostly unsubstantiated and didn’t involve my adoption agency.
I went to meet Diego (Guatemalans gave him the name) in February last year when he was 5½ months old. I thought we’d come home to my husband in three weeks. I didn’t know my agency was working with a bad lawyer and unscrupulous “facilitators,” the go-betweens who locate birth mothers and sometimes provide them with counseling and medical services. It was nine months before the adoption was finalized and we left Guatemala. I’ll never be sure whether what happened was incompetence or extortion.
I started out living with Diego’s foster family, then he and I moved into our own place. During the wait, I got to know three dozen adopting families, a dozen Guatemalan foster parents, at least four orphanages (one state-run and three private), six facilitators, six adoption lawyers and directors of several adoption agencies. I also met six birth mothers.
Guatemala has Central America’s highest rates of birth, child mortality and illiteracy. A 36-year civil war ended with 1996 peace accords, but the fighting and its aftermath left 150,000 orphans. Many of them languish in institutions where conditions range from heartbreaking to insufferable. Some of these orphanages work with adoption agencies.
But most foreign adoptions rely on a network of private foster homes. Foster parents are paid by foreign adoption agencies through lawyers and other intermediaries, some of whom reminded me of pimps or street gang leaders. I knew babies abducted from foster homes under one facilitator’s control and placed in homes on a rival facilitator’s turf. I met one birth mother who worked with a facilitator to withhold documents in order to squeeze money from an agency. I learned about rival facilitators instigating official investigations against each other. In a country where 80 percent of people are officially poor, babies bound for foreign families are precious commodities.
During one of my husband’s five visits, he spoke with a pregnant young woman about why she was giving up her baby. She explained she was 17, unmarried and jobless. He told her he and a girlfriend had been in a similar situation 30 years earlier. Thanks to public aid, they could afford to keep their son. The pregnant girl shook her head in regret or disbelief. She knew adoption was her best choice.
The birth mothers I met were desperate. One worked 60-hour weeks in a Guatemala City garment sweatshop and relinquished her infant because she had no time or money to look after her other child, a toddler. Diego’s birth mother, Isabel, was supporting two children, 4 and 7, and gave birth to another the month after we left. She sold peanuts in the market and picked coffee with her kids for $1.25 a day. I met the family several times. They spoke Tzutujil, one of Guatemala’s two dozen Mayan languages, and hardly any Spanish. Still, we made an affectionate and respectful connection that none of us will forget.
Most foster mothers I met were loving and responsible, though their homes were very poor. They subsisted on $100–$250 a month per baby. They took care of one or two babies (two is the legal maximum), and they had to supply food and diapers. Most had children of their own and no other income. If not for agency adoptions, they said, they’d be in factories away from their kids or on the streets.
In Diego’s adoption, our lawyer and facilitators wrote that he was Isabel’s second child, not her third. To cover up the mistake, they filed another birth certificate and got his birthplace wrong. The authorities, discovering inconsistencies in the story, began an investigation, which prompted more lies. Eventually the agency hired a new lawyer for our case. Methodically and lawfully, he corrected the record.
A highly publicized report by U.N. official Ofelia Calcetas-Santos says most Guatemalan adoptions are illegal. But the report cites no source, admitting the information is mostly anecdotal and based on only 11 days of investigation. In our case, the Guatemalan attorney general’s office had rejected the adoption five times. These rejections may exemplify what Calcetas-Santos calls illegal but, to me, they signal that the regulators are doing their jobs.
Aside from the attorney general’s review, there are other safeguards. The U.S. Embassy requires DNA tests to verify the birth mother’s maternity. Embassy officials also interview her to make sure she’s not being paid or coerced. Most other “receiving” countries have similar precautions.
As for the adopting families, some of the ones I met in Guatemala were wealthy, but most were middle-class professionals or working-class. Some established long-lasting relationships with the birth mothers. A friend of mine who adopted two unrelated infants is helping both birth families start small businesses in Guatemala City. Other families are contributing substantially to nonprofits that support Guatemalan families. Most feel a new, permanent connection and responsibility to the country.
We love our son and don’t feel as if we bought him. What we did was exercise a privilege. Diego will know that he laughs just like his biological sister and that children in his village wear traditional clothes and go barefoot. We hope he will care about his connection to Guatemala and the Tzutujil.
In a better world, the choices in the adoption process would be different. In the real world, Diego’s birth mother can afford to keep her fourth child, his foster mother earned a few months’ living by caring for him, and my life has been immeasurably enriched. All three of us trust that Diego’s new life will offer more opportunity than he would have had otherwise.
Maybe he and his generation will do a better job than ours has at keeping kids from becoming commodities.

Gorgeous!

 

Our Letter

I wanted to enter the letter here that Fred and I wrote to begin our fundraising. It was a very hard decision for us to make. I felt I needed to be proactive in the adoption process, and yet working with the state that is very difficult. There is a neccessary amount of waiting involved in any adoption- domestic or international. But after waiting nearly four years to have a permanant placement of a child from Connecticut, my best friend Lenea encouraged me to reach out to the community.


May 16th, 2006
Dear Friends,

When I was a little girl, giggling with my classmates, I would often say that when I grew up I would have two children and adopt two children. I am not sure why, we didn’t have many friends who were adopted. It just made sense to me, and it has ever since.
My husband and I were married in October 2002. We had already begun taking the required classes that the state offers to become adoptive and foster parents. At the time my daughter was six years old, and we had discussed different options for expanding our family. We knew that becoming pregnant would require medical intervention, and we thought that giving a child a home who did not have one was the right decision for us. In August of 2003, after classes, background checks, and home inspections, we received our license to adopt from the Department of Children and Families in Connecticut. We were assigned a social worker and discussed our hopes for adopting a boy, any background, but under three years old. We acquired a crib, toys and sturdy hand me downs. Then we waited.
In the last three years we have had different experiences with different social workers assigned to our case. We have attended monthly support/educational meetings for adoptive and foster parents and registered with other states. Unfortunately, with an incredibly under funded, dysfunctional foster care system and over burdened social workers, we have yet to be placed with our permanent child.
Expanding our horizons I researched several organizations that arrange international adoptions. With over 100 million homeless children in the world, there is a great need for permanent families. Regrettably the biggest obstacle for reaching these children is the financial expense of the adoption process. The total cost of an international adoption can be anywhere from ten thousand dollars up to and beyond fifty thousand dollars depending on the requirements of the country.
We began the serious task of saving.
As the beginning of another new year passed, we were encouraged to reach out to friends and community members for inspiration. I am hoping to find people who truly believe in helping to connect children and available families.
We can offer a child a warm and loving home, healthy food to eat, pets, a sibling to run and play with and two parents committed to doing our very best. What others can offer is help to build the bridge from our family to a child in need.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please pass this on to anyone who may be interested and feel free to call or write any time.

Sincerely,


Anna H. White and Frederick D. Stevens
Po box 378 Canaan, CT 06018




Adoption Sponsorship Donations
Berkshire Bank
255 Stockbridge Rd.
Great Barrington, MA 01230




“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life”.
-Richard Bach